I guess I am a specialist, of starting over. Daring things. Throwing myself out in different challenges. Succeeding. Turning sinking ships. Performing.
Now at this point of my life, I’d like to learn something different. How to fail, whatever failure is. How to stop. How to set roots. How to be satisfied and yet feel true to the always so wild and seeking sould of mine.
Interesting how, of all the scary things I’ve done in my life, the one of stopping seems to be the one that frightens me the most. I struggle, beat, argue, cry, fight against it, despite the fact that it is something I’ve chosen to try out by my own will and the only person forcing me to continue, is myself. This fear, is the reason why I continue, and why I think this is important to me. There is some truth in there that I want to find and meet. Self-development is not always funny, it is not always something you want to shout out to the world. It is not always equal to a new, shiny you, it can also be the darkest, ugliest, part of you that has to come up to the surface. It takes some courage to aloud that to happen, but I believe that is the only way to set yourself truly free. And freedom is what I aim for.
Nature is good for self reflection. It is forgiving, calm, asks no questions. You can just be whatever you are at that very moment.
Cold, barren and sometimes terribly difficult, just like the inner me.